yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
