census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
