Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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