She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
