Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
