I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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