I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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