oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
