He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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