youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
