he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
