Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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