He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
