dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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