I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize