so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize