before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
