Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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