Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
