Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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