you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize