he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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