We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
