broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
