if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
