Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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