shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
