This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
