do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
