I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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