i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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