ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize