But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
