We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
