I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize