Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
