i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
