We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
