We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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