I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
then he tried to convert me to islam
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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