Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
