I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize