Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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