Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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