And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
