I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
