you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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