Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

I just found a frying pan...in my bed.

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(650): View more from California

i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!

(408): View more from California

Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...

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(205): View more from Alabama

I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome

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(407): View more from Florida

I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?

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(224): View more from Illinois

Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.

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