i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
