dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She needs sedatives and a leash
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
