I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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