i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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