Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
