I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
