you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
