I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
