i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
