You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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