Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
