how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
