dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
