This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
