he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
