Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
