he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
