It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
