her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
