he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
