he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
